Thursday, March 07, 2013

Giving Advice from Sage to Innocense

I've been in a very pensive mood these days.  I guess getting into later years does that to a person.  An old friend of 30 some odd years spent the holidays with me and my sister this past year and telling old stories of "remember when?" were constantly recounted.  They were some awfully good times back in the day.  Yet, there were some pretty awful times too.  I looked at my guest and saw the years of life experience all over his face and knew I had the same.  In fact, we traveled a fairly similar path.  I guess that is what got me to thinking about decisions and experiences that I've had over the years.

I guess when we are younger, we feel like we have the world by the tail.  I call that innocence. We all know that the further we travel into our life, the more humble and somewhat overwhelmed at times we become with the life process.  I was always a worrier, even as a child.  Afraid to make mistakes, look stupid, you name it.  If I had only known then what I know now.  We all make mistakes, look stupid and the key is to get back up and continue on with the business of life.  There IS a point to it, I feel certain.  And, I can see key lessons that I've had to repeat over and over because I failed to pass the "earth pop test".

If I had the chance, I would have loved to sit my innocent self down from many years ago and offer some advice from my sage life experience.  Like what, you ask?

1. You might as well get over the fear of looking stupid and making mistakes.  Everybody makes'em and everybody looks stupid on a fairly regular basis.

2. This is a big one:  Trust your gut.  Get a bad feeling about a person?  job? Trust yourself.  Walk away from anything that sounds your inner alarm.  It's okay to do that.

3. Did you walk away from the experience that set your inner alarm off and it turned out to be okay in spite of it?  That's okay.  You're human.

4. Are you in a job where you are increasingly frustrated, stressed and feeling trapped?  Run, do not walk away from this job.  It wouldn't hurt to look for opportunities while still employed, but if nothing presents itself, work for a temp agency.  No job or situation is worth aggravation, despair, frustration or feeling stressed.  YOU are more important than that.

5. I'll warn you innocent self, you're going to fall in love one day and fall in love HARD.  Don't fret about it so much.  Enjoy this intoxicating feeling.  It's rare to be truly in love, so enjoy it.  Enjoy and remember every wonderful second you can.

6. Remembering those wonderful moments will take some of the sting out of a failed relationship. You're going to wonder how to even breathe when it's over.  And, you'll recall the countless times when you stayed up until all hours listening to "You" by Bonnie Raitt and how it still gets you to this day when you hear it.

7. It's going to take a long time, but you'll eventually find your grief to be in your past.  You never forget it, but you are somehow able to put one foot in front of the other and breathe.

8.  Be grateful for the experience, Innocence. You'll  get to the point where you'll feel  profound sadness for your ex's trials and tribulations.  Just don't let that be an excuse to forget or excuse what was done to you.

That's about it.  If I could have had this conversation with myself so many years ago, it may have made a difference.  But, knowing me, the words wouldn't penetrate and I would have missed alot of life experiences.

I guess it's just as well that I am able to look back and know that I learned a little something in this life.

More Musings Later-